Sunday, August 04, 2013

The Inevitable

There are times when you find the right words automatically without an effort and then there are moments when even after efforts you still don't. As mentioned in one of my previous posts that July was a big month for professional and personal changes, I moved to Ahmedabad and joined the team at ICICI where I would eventually be working. On personal front I got engaged to a lovely person, though I was always apprehensive on how arranged marriages work but I feel we got enough time to know each other and decided to move ahead.

So let me introduce my fiancée (Ankita - pic below) the Miss X of the post-> "The First". I was home for a little more than a week in mid July between my term break and it was decided that we needed some ceremony for making the relationship official. What was intended to be small family affair turned out to be fairly grand event though it was just the families (rather extended families) from both sides. I had to move back for my internship exactly the day after we got engaged and hence we couldn't spend much time together.

As usual when I start blogging there are multiple threads, this time its not an exception too. My to-do list is increasing and I am wondering how to pace upto it. Well dancing is something which I have always enjoyed watching other people, but going on dance floor myself has been always embarrassing. I have always wanted to learn atleast a few basic steps so that it can be avoided but since I wasn't a party guys had been procrastinating it. When I was based out of Baroda, our mentor threw a party before we were leaving and I realized that I need move up the priority of this to-do task to avoid embarrassment again.

The ADHM is approaching  and its time I start practising since its about 3 months from now and there hasn't been any physical activity off-late. I guess I would keep the remaining threads for the next post, before I wrap-up here the little disclaimer that the title of the post only means that it was just a matter of time/convenience for the ceremonies. And Miss X is the convention which stays since I love it till I find a better word :-).

Monday, July 29, 2013


As evident from the title this one is going to be random rambling again. The only thing that is constant is change and that's so very true. There are dates, events and moments so very important and precious at times and then couple of years later they don't even matter. Well as I cross another eventful year today, it seems another fast paced and one of most dynamic years both on personal and professional front.

When I look back at the post which I blogged at the same time last year, I had no clue what was in store for me the year ahead but I was very sure about couple of things. One I needed change and to stop being comfortable, second I wanted to travel. Though I did manage to reach the objectives but on first the rating was outstanding while I just managed to meet expectation on the second one.

I quit my full time job and joined MBA program, though I was really happy with my job but somewhere I was looking out for something challenging which would make me come out of my comfort zone. Well to sum it up nicely I was in for a change which I couldn't have imagined, but I don't regret it since I opted for it. IT industry and banking are miles apart and that too when you come from premium product company to largest private sector bank. I wanted to learn and try out something new and I am getting that every single day out here.Though at times people look down upon me as chap who was out of mind when he opted for shift but that ok, and there are moments when people pre-judge you as good for nothing and you get determined to prove them wrong and show how you can do things better.
Since I had opted for program I did not get to travel much as long as I was based out of campus, though lot of my batch-mates who came from southern and western India saw it as an opportunity to explore the entire North India -> Himalayas while being at campus and they did manage that. But after I moved out of campus for my Term-3 internship to Baroda and with an amazing bunch of pals (pic in previous post) I explored half of Gujarat within the very first month itself. The pic above is rough map of the route and destinations we covered (Dwarka, Bet Dwarka, Porbandar, Somnath, Gir Forest and Diu). 

So now the only part left in the state is Kutch (northern Gujarat) but this isn't the right time for travelling there. After a week break I am at Ahmedabad for the Term 4 internship and the first very first weekend I get to travel to Thol Bird Sanctuary. Since I didn't have the DSLR and necessary zoom lenses I couldn't shoot the birds though there were plenty I did manage the below pic with the P&S I have of the wonderful lake and awesome weather we had today. And thanks to buddy and b'day boy -> Hardik who planned the sudden trip.

PS: The above post had been in draft for 3 weeks but couldn't find time to edit and publish it. Last paragraph was added today during edit.

Thursday, June 06, 2013

Term 3 so far...

Well its more than a month now since I moved in here but there are plenty of updates. When I started drafting this post it was just a week here. There are so many threads on my mind right now & am struggling to pick up one. Lets me move in chronological order - I landed up here on 1st May and after parking my luggage headed straight to explore the city and check out the bank.

As its there in most of the stories, the stars were with me too. I reached the bank and ended up meeting a guy who stayed right next to it. I went for inquiring about places for rent and he offered me an accommodation since his room mates had shifted to native places recently. So without making much of an effort I got a place to stay to. Btw we are 5 (Arko, Anadi, Gayatri and Sarvesh) of us including myself from the University interning together here. Arko and Sarvesh too shifted at our place after a couple of days of house hunting when they couldn't find a better option.

In one of my previous posts I had mentioned that I had been blessed with great manager and mentors till date and the same story continues here as well. Our mentor is lady who is couple of levels above in the hierarchy and has banking experience of close to 2 decades. Best part is she treats us like her own kid and its always fun whenever she is around. So basically instead of just monotonous learning we are having ball of a time (great combination of learning + fun).
Since there was no space to adjust 5 of us together we have been allocated the Board Room where we had been spending major part of our time in discussions/gossips/training etc. During one such day we started discussion of  making a Gujarat trip while we are here, and voila within no time a plan was made for the next weekend to cover half of prosperous state. The only thing pending was formal approval from Managers and once we shared it with our mentor she promised to take care of that too :-). Hence we ended up making a whirlwind tour of Dwarka, Porbandar, Somnath, Gir National Park and Diu. It was approx 1700 kms trip which was covered over 3 days in Innova taxi.

Not to forget I drove for about 500 kms while the driver enjoyed the break and I just loved the roads in Gujarat, moreover it was first long drive in the wonderful car and now I know why Toyota have ruled in the MUV segment for so long. Though I love my beast(Safari) too for the driving pleasure and the occupants comfort but the third row is definite plus on long routes and 6+ members of group/family when it comes to Innova.

Let me not get offtrack but this was one of the most wonderful trips I have made in recent years. Interestingly am not the religious kind of person and majority of the places we visited were all the holy places but still had a great fun coz of the group we had. Since its already a long post, let me close this one here.

PS: one of my fav pic from the trip above.

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Baroda it is...

Finally the much awaited list which by all means should have been out by 15th Apr came out today i.e. 26th Apr. A small correction the list came out yesterday evening itself but the mail had a line which said its tentative list and and final would be updated soon. Thankfully "soon" this time meant just 24 hrs unlike the previous occasions when soon meant 3 weeks :-) and the final list landed today in my inbox.

But I guess those guys (ICICI + NU) didn't have an option of delaying it further, else lot of us wouldn't have been joining the location by the due date which is 2nd May. Vadodara (commonly known as Baroda) is large industrial/IT township in the state of Gujarat. So I would be off to west coast of India for another 3 months to learn about commercial banking. Frankly I was sure that adjusting 150+ odd requests was going to be tough task and there could be surprises as well. You cannot make everyone happy and run the business as well so I do not want to blame the bank and I was always mentally prepared to take assignment anywhere. Hoping the learning is exponential and I get to contribute something as well though 3 months is short duration.

Life seems to be fast track now where events keep happening at a pace that you loose track. Hopefully after the first 3 months I would be placed back in NCR/Mumbai for the next 3 months. July seemingly would be an eventful month since the anxiety would be back (list for next 3 months) and personal fronts would have more updates as well. Hopefully the next update would be from Sanskari Nagari.

Saturday, April 13, 2013


Weekend between exam is ideal time to waste & then crib later that you should have used it better. Well I am done with 2 exams in which I had the least internal and more over had no clue about the subject. There are always some subjects where you just do not get enough interest to make efforts. Though I had attended every single lecture but the retention was zilch. Oddly enough after a long time I made efforts for a subject right on the last night before exams by reading chapters. Probably it was the fear of failing that kept me awake through nights, the last time I remember a similar feat would have been engineering first year exams where I had made any sort of effort for exam but then motive was different (competition).

I do not know if it was a good feeling to have, but yes I did study since E/F grades would definitely not look good on any grade sheet. Well as most people say its the end result which matter and not the efforts put in, I am sure I would pass both exams. The remaining 5 should be fine unless the retention ratio abnegates recall function of the memory. Right now the only thing which is on everybody's mind here is the location list as we call it, it is the posting where we would be doing our term 3-4 internships which is expected to be out by 15th Apr.

The next 6 months might be really crucial for my professional career and hence am waiting curiously as well. If I get a location of my choice great nothing beats that, but even if I don't get it as long as the learning and exposure is right I will manage. The only flip side which I have heard based on feedback from previous batches is that we might get a position where exposure and learning both might take a backseat and the entire process is just a formality. Since I have been blessed in my career so far by being in right place at right time, I expect the things to stay the same way and I move to right location. 


Just had a look at the traffic stats of my blog page and realized that since I have become more regular blogger, the page visits have increased significantly. Interestingly I do not get feedback but just page visits hence the scope of improvement lies completely on me. The best part about stats is its descriptive enough to let me know the country of my visitor + browser + OS details. Couple of my best pals (are in US, UK) know that I blog and its a way they know that whats happening my life too, hence I could figure out when I get page visit from abroad that they checked out my post.

Well I stumbled across a video which uses sarcasm to drive an important point. Since I liked it, I thought of sharing it too.

When you don't blog for a long time, you have enough ideas for a new post and you really need to scramble what to use and what not. Couple of observations/feedback and confessions which are on my mind right now. 
  • You cant expect same techniques or ways to work with everyone. In a place method would work like butter on a parantha/toast while it might not yield any results sometimes.
  • People can have exactly different opinion about you (or you might have opinion about others) which is stark contrast of the actual scenario. 
  • I have never been comfortable with technological device now referred as mobile/cellphone/smartphone. I can talk for hours if I meet someone(face 2-face) but over phone I just run out of topics both on the professional as well as personal front. I understand that being a banker this device would be lifeline in coming yrs and am working to improve myself. 
  • There would always be some people in whose company you never feel comfortable and vice-versa as well.
  • And there would be some with whom you feel like as if you have known them for years though you might have just met them. Fortunately most of the people I meet fall in this category.
  • Looks can be deceptive and they sure are atleast in my case, since everyone around me feels that am super sincere and studious while I am extremely chilled out.
Btw the back counting is on, just another week before we are out of campus for 6 months internship and am really looking forward to it. And the score is 2 down out of 7 (exams we need to write in each term) :-).

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Capital Punishment

Well I had the issue on my mind for a very long time but you need a stimuli (Afzal Guru in this case). I am very well aware that its sensitive issue and everyone is entitled to have his/her opinion. Frankly I do not have a firm opinion on the issue but there are factors which push me sometime either on one side or the other.

I am still wondering where to start the thread from. Well as one of my cousin puts it, I too really have mad number of people in the friendlist on Facebook. Since FB has this status box which says "What's on your mind XYZ ? " which they have smartly modified over the time to "What's happening XYZ ?" after some infamous episodes ;-) , people tend to pour in their opinion freely and if they don't have any they just share what ever someone has posted without even making an effort to verify the credibility of the info.

I am not a psychologist but I do tend to observe people and form opinions and hypothesis as well. There are certain sect of people I know who irrespective of what is happening have to always either oppose the system/criticize it/rebel etc. I really do not know if the particular category of people add any value or are necessary for the society or not. I am not sure if they want to prove their individual identity by these actions. 

While I do not deny that in the most civilized parts of the world capital punishments are either abolished or are rarely used. In the developing and under-development nations it more often heard of. But trying to prove ourselves as a part of civilized world shall we move away from justice ? I really do not know how a person's heart can change over time and if there is a way to verify it. But someone who can mercilessly kill people at will without even blinking an eye, how can he be let free or imprisoned for life where he serves 14 yrs and walks out again by proving his good conduct. 

But yes again there is always history to prove things. The reason I started the thread was the angst  I had for people asking for human rights and justice for people who did not know what these terms mean. Be it Afzal Guru, Ajmal Kasab, David Headley, the rapists in the Delhi gang rape case or any other Capital punishment may or may not justice for them. But I can assure it does work as a deterrent for others. Will it solve problems like this for ever? Might not, since there will always be some people who would not be impacted by efforts and bold actions like these, but then there would certainly be lessor people who would try doing it since they would know they won't be able to walk away just like that.

Does it mean that there would be no misuse of it, well I doubt that but you can't let people like Kasab out and expect them not to do what they did before. Neither do I have answer for - "Why do we kill people who kill people to show killing people is wrong ?".

Flavor of Season

I couldn't come up with a better title for the topic. The news-feed section of my FB page is filled only with the following things:
1) Marriage pics and status updates of my friends/batchmates/colleagues.
2) Rest with baby pics and status updates on the same lines.
3) Since its a supposedly a season of love there are humor quotes, dedication etc.

Its not that I have a trouble with them but then when everyone keeps repeating the same thing you tend to think more on the issue even if you don't want it. As stated before I am on the verge of going over the marriageable age and would be considered too old in case I don't settle down soon. But since the brain always tends to ask for a logic behind everything here are few dilemma/issues in my current life in the order of priority
1)  I am currently a student and would be for another 1.5 yrs before I move back to corporate life (hence it does not make sense settling down as I wouldn't have time for my probable partner)
2) Financially I cant support a family since the stipend I get is just enough for managing personal needs.
3) I do not know a girl whom I understand and know enough to start thinking on those lines.

Even the program I am pursuing has a good proportion of married boys/girls and I could see their daily problems and discussions over the lunch/dinner table. Oddly they still advocate getting married is good idea which makes me wonder their motive behind it. One of most commonly used argument to defend it is since you anyways have to do it, why delay it. And mostly frequently defense from my side is that I am not ready for it yet. Which some people agree to but parents/relatives counter with how would you know that you are ready for it. Well for this I try to come up with a creative answer everytime :-).

But apart from the sarcasm there is some real good news, my best pal got engazed yesterday and am really happy since she had been looking forward to it and there were too many things which were not going right. I hope this is just a start of the good phase for her. As soon as I started writing the blog and I got a call from my mom and she had the same agenda for her call her as well so Law of Attraction does work  irrespective whether you want it or not but if you are thinking about it does :-).

Friday, February 08, 2013


Well as it is rightly stated that we become more mature with time as we encounter more situations in life. All of us go through similar(rarely identical) stages at different ages in our lifetime. There was a time when I believed in perfection in everything I did and rather had a very narrow window for tolerance for things I did or could accomplish myself. Then I realized that people have different abilities,motives and attitude behind a particular tasks which determines the outcome. As I can see and draw a conclusion from my past that I have transitioned from perfectionist to more of a finisher with slight traces of perfectionism here and there. I want to get the jobs done more on time rather than waiting and coming up with perfect solutions beyond time.

I have tried being regular to gym quiet a few times and was successful for varied duration ( from a week to 3 months as well). As one of my batch-mates here puts it "gym-person" - I do not belong to that category, but I love playing outdoor sports/workouts like running etc. I have run couple of half marathons, 5 and 10 k runs over the last 3-4 years. But after joining the program here I haven't done much of the workout which I consider extremely essential. Just like most of us I plan every night as well the lazy part inside me doesn't let me out of bed in the mornings. Hence I have decided to keep this post as an incentive. That means this post or any other post would see the light of the day(get published) if and only if I take the first step and start the workouts again. I know once I start I would figure out ways to keep up with it.
There was a University fest in the campus last weekend and it was the first fest ever here. And very unusual of me that I wasn't involved either in coordination or participating actively in it. But there are always first for everything, what I learned was its better to be in thick of things rather just whiling away your time. I did donate my blood in the blood camp but that I consider as passive activity than an active one. It was that day I had decided about the workouts and its been 5 days the action has not happened. Anyways the reason I started talking about fest was there were many wonderful performances and last day we had a live rock band called "Them Clones". Though I am not a rock/hard metal guy and the songs I can understand are too few but the above song made instantly in my favorites list.

The last thread of thoughts is on marriage. One of professors who handles economics for us made a wise  statement during a break which I could connect to instantly. The professor is visiting faculty (was Ex-Dean for Delhi University, one of small credibility from long list which can be associated with him) and is in his 70s. I do not believe in horoscopes and he was of the same opinion as well, but he stated - it makes lot of sense matching RH factor of the blood and exchanging medical reports/history instead of horoscopes (which made an instant logic for the rational me). He also went ahead and stated that it is difficult the way marriages work in India(arranged marriages) and it might be considered a taboo but a good way to handle would be pass on your report and let your partner decide if they want to return the favor. 

Thursday, February 07, 2013


If you happen to stumble upon my blog for the first time and is wondering on the title. Here is your guide/help for figuring out if its worth wasting your time here by going in chronological order some 25+ odd posts. I always suggests my friends to go through in chronological order since its easier to understand and sometimes there could be reference to previous posts as well. For e.g. RR2 stands for Random Rambling part 2 (title of my previous post). The story behind it is as simple as - I have become more regular now in blogging and I ran out of Titles, hence came up numbering funda for posts which are really random thoughts on my head. Though you may still find odd individual titles in between post which have proper background or story behind it.

Let me use this post as chance to post a disclaimer/copyrights stuff as well. All stuff put up on this blog is either my personal thoughts/opinions/experience or fictional stuff. And most of the pictures or audio/video belong to the respective owners and I had stumbled across them through the web only, unless otherwise stated as personally shot by me. For e.g the attached video (Tent No. 13)

We have an audit course called Community Connect in the MBA program I am pursuing, where the motto was to go back and connect with the under privileged mass of the society & contribute in some manner. This was to be shot and edited as a video and submitted. While doing the editing of that video I recalled the above video which I along with my team members at the previous firm SAP had shot as a part of team building activity (right from concept to shooting-editing-final screening under 24 hrs). During a class discussion I talked about it as well, where my batch-mates had asked me to post so that they can have a look at it as well. A bit of background before you form an opinion about the above short film, everyone associated with the movie is from a software industry(right from developer/tester/consultant/team manager/vice president) with no exposure to movie making, though we had professional help/hand holding in terms of how to use rolling movie camera and how to use the software to edit it etc. since it was to be done under a time frame of 24 hours.

The community connect video was shot with regular digital camera and still needs proper editing. It was done under time constraints as well (had semester exams in the coming week) and was to submitted in 3 days time else it would mean F grade in the course which might not stop us from getting the degree but would have meant unnecessary mark on the final course grade-sheet. Once it goes through a proper editing it I would definitely post it up here as well.


Well let me sound philosophical today. Actually there are plenty of things on my mind right now and I would try to work them one by one as long as this post doesn't start giving a long and boring look :-).

Is there something called as a right or wrong decision? All of us know there is nothing as an absolute right or wrong and most of them are relative to each other. Everybody's definition of right on wrong depends on his thought process and definitely on the purpose one is trying to achieve. Then there is a factor called circumstances where in one place something might look right but might be not be right in another scenario.

If I want to make an instant profit and expect the prices of a particular stock to rise and invest in it. Depending whether prices actually go up or not might decision would be right or wrong. Had I invested in the same stock for a long term perspective the decision might have been right (with an assumption that the firm did well in the long run). Hence the context/purpose is what defines whether a particular choice was right or not to a large extent. Some choices might sound/look good in short run but might not be in the long run.
But then again this is a vicious circle the purpose/context does not remain same/constant always and its keeps changing as well. So deciding something one did was it right or not is a difficult task. Irrespective where one is today or would be in future depends largely on the choices one made-makes. As Steve Jobs said "Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever."  So when I look back today I can see lot of good things and some not so good as well. But if I wouldn't have done it I would have never known that it shouldn't be done. There is little voice which still keeps telling me that there was something good even in them which I probably cant differentiate right now.

Let me jump to another thread of the thoughts, it sometime makes me wonder why aren't we comfortable with some people around, though at ease with others even when we are meeting them the first time. I read somewhere that you get rid of feeling which you aren't comfortable with by repeating it again and again. But then I guess its a mutual stuff, if the other person is not comfortable in your presence you will have the discomfort as well no matter how much efforts you make. Rather sometime making those additional efforts might have the exact opposite outcome. I was interacting with a cousin of mine the other day and conversation was about having a gf/bf and that when I realized that its not only about the desire but also about the effort. Simple sentences like I am comfortable/not comfortable with strangers go a long way in conditioning our mind and our natural responses in situations when we encounter them.

Let me close the rambling here and save the remaining thoughts for the next post :-) since this post already has a scroll bar on my edit window.

Thursday, January 31, 2013

Random rambling (RR1)

There were 2 incidences which prompted me to put up a post and I wanted to do it the very same day. But somethings just don't happen as you plan. So since its been sometime I would try to recall them as vividly as possible. I would prefer putting the disclaimer again right at start just to reiterate that it my views and they might be biased.

In the current term of degree we are undergoing a course called Managerial Communication. Needless to say more, most of us feel this is an irrelevant course. But there is flip side to it as well, most of us think we have a great command over language and rate our side on the higher spectrum, when it comes to actual evaluation results might prove otherwise and I do not deny the fact. Just like we feel that we are good enough if not perfect our Professor feels the same way (though she has a specific accent which I don't have an apt name and she has her own set of fillers as well). I had been a part of Toastmaster International (TMI) where I was working on improving myself and I should continue on that rather then evaluating Professors and others. Since the Prof is Doctor (Ph.D) I am sure I will get to learn something from her.
I guess life has interesting stuff in store for me, where ever I go I find something which really interests me. While at SAP we had the LTS (Leadership Talk Series) and the Literati (the bookclub/author speak session). Here at NU we do have guest Lectures, though because of clash in timings/other blockers you might not be able to attend all of them but I managed to attend 2 out of the 4 so far. The most recent was from a Dr. Prafulla Padhi and believe me it was interesting one as well. I would prefer not talking about the guys credentials since it was 3 page printout which the Organizer had in his hand :-). What he covered during the talk included change management and growth that beckons the Indian economy. What I enjoyed was the energy level at his age (70+) and he made the session interactive. The talk was about numbers (historical GDP) India, China and World economy, current state and projections for future 2050 which were really astounding. What was proved again was, it's just not the content but how you deliver it matters a lot as well. The outlook he gave was really positive and which was supported by logical explanations as well.

PS: The guys has retired now and stays in a village near Bangalore after spending his majority of life abroad and he was one of the first Venture Capitalist of Google Inc.

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Stones (gemstones)

Was a part of an interesting conversation after the breakfast in the morning. Astrology, palmistry and gemstones on similar lines. Lessor to add I was an active listener since I have my own view points on the topic which I don't claim to be perfect but its just the the rational me tends to hold them stronger.

Since we were done with our exams and none of us had better things to do (sane people had already decided and made trip back home or nearby places for excursion like Sariska/Jaipur etc.) being in a campus which is far from civilization. After breakfast we decided to have a walk and get our quota of sun rays, which ended up in long conversation right from the culture of bank we are about to join after completion of our course to many other topics. The conversation started on lines of believing in astrology and moved on to belief in gemstones.

When we get to interact with people we understand lot of their biases and prejudice or what you say is "getting in their shoes". What really intrigues me is how can people with similar educational background tend to have such vast differences in opinions/beliefs. I always thought education was big factor for making people think logically and rationally but somehow the logic doesn't hold good anymore. People more learned (higher degrees) and matured have shown irrationality in taking decisions which implies that there are other factors as well. BTW during the conversation I realized that there are stones which I considered useless/colorful rocks have loads of beliefs associated and people go to any extent (from thousands to hundred thousands[lacs]) to get them on their rings and those stones have a life too.

After a lot of deliberation I figured out probably everyone has a certain way of making things work for them. Just like I follow the Law of Attraction and believe in the power of positive words(reaffirming self) people resort to their own ways and probably stones is just one of them. If that's the case, my technique is lot more economical then :-P.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013


Well at the end of first term exam and to prove that one can go back to studies even after a long break of close to 7 years, I couldn't come up with a better title. Though the results would take another week or so to be out, but am confident enough that I would make it through with good grades since its a relative grading and not absolute here.

As I stated before life constantly gives you lessons and depends on us whether we take anything out of it or not. The reason I keep penning them down is that we as human have a fickle memory and hence we tend to forget. Maybe if and when I get to shuffle through these posts again I would be able to recall them more vividly.

Adversity always looks huge in isolation but the moment you have a righteous comparison it might even stop existing. And I strongly believe that if you end up being in a situation either you handle it or you get to learn something from it. I happened to talk over to one of my best pals after a really long time (its normally this way between us but somehow we connect instantly and start from where we left last time) and realized that she happens to be going through a tough sacked and since visa is dependent on job as well its about to expire as well.... uncertainty over her marriage plans as that too is dependent on a similar issue. She plans to start her double master coming fall and finding short stint jobs is extremely arduous task. As they say what matters more is the attitude. Since I have known her for close to 10+ years now I know she would turn the tide and come out of more stronger than ever.

Again a funny incident, I believe the Law of Attraction and works and has been advocating it for a long time now. Believe me its easier said than done in this case, one needs to be really cautious and needs to practice it constantly.  I do slip here and there at times and before I realize the damage is done. While talking to her I realized that she is practicing it consciously and felt really happy about it and that's when I started to recall that I haven't been "walking the talk". But as they say the first step to fix things is identifying the problem and since that's done, rest is being worked upon.

Monday, January 14, 2013

The First

Well there is always a first time for everything in life. This post has been due for a long time now. Since there have been quiet a few posts on arranged marriages and one of the essential steps is to meet the person. Best part about life is that the learning never stops, though it's a different topic whether we take back anything from any experience or not. Well let me name the lady as Miss X just like the mathematics classes where the unknown variable always gets this name. I need to politically correct as well since I know the blog is followed by lot of people and Miss X knows about it too :-P.

Well I would consider myself completely naive and there were hundred other things on my mind which were on extremely high priority (that's the best excuse I can come up for being such a moron). Probably being a guy I did not think much as well and just landed up in a place close to Miss X so that we can meet up. A bit of background before I move ahead. We had talked exactly once over phone and had exchanged a few gmail chats before that day and we were being hooked up because of common relatives (typical arranged marriages). No points of guessing it was me who initiated as I was on fix it up mission. Was out of job...going back to school, hunting rented accommodation for my parents. Let me try not to justify but the truth is I almost landed up blank with absolute no clue how to take things forward. I feel I make friends really fast and meeting new people is just like another activity which doesn't get me thinking but I guess its not the same with everyone. So I landed up being shabbily dressed for the meeting and we had planned to meet at a coffee shop.

As soon I stepped inside the coffee shop I got to meet an office colleague of mine and I came up with an excuse/lie (since you do not go about telling everyone that you are out to see someone) that I was there to met a old buddy of mine. Since I wasn't probed much I found a table and started wondering if Miss X walks in how do I  introduce her to my colleague, but seems the ubiquitous force did not want me to lie anymore and hence the office guys were done and they started to leave and Miss X was running late as well. Well I gave the compliment to Miss X when we met as well so nothing wrong being truthful, Miss X walks inside the cafe and I gotup to greet her and frankly was stunned as she was pretty and was aptly decked up as well unlike me.

Now the funny part of the episode, how can things go wrong and learnings part. Miss X broke her heels while entering the coffee shop and had to go back n look for cobblers but since it was late evening she trudged back and had to manage with broken heels of the footwear (reason for her running late). If you haven't thought about how to make the conversation there would be uncomfortable silences. Making conversation is really easy when you do not have an agenda but when there is a thought at the back of you mind on the purpose of meet you wont be comfortable at all. Well being a weekend and the place being the hustle bustle center of city there was lot of crowd and I was wondering if we would run into familiar faces and Voila..... Miss X younger brother's ex girlfriend was in the coffee shop as well and she called up her elder sister who was classmate of Miss X to tell her bout gossip that Miss X is seeing someone. Where she had to clarify that it was date setup by parents and she wasn't seeing someone, later when she was called.........indeed its a small world :-).

Miss X was uncomfortable/nervous/.... which was evident right throughout and which made me wonder If I should keep it running or just exchange goodbye and move ahead. We did get to spend sometime together and obviously it was me who was trying to keep the conversation running but the question stayed how can you meet someone for an hour and so and decide if things gonna work out between you or not.  Now the most interesting part which I guess everyone (my parents, her parents and anyone else who knew that we have met) wanted to hear. The moment I reached home I was probed but I made the answer complex by telling the truth that it was nice meeting her but there were lot of uncomfortable silences to make a sense out of it. What I guess they were expecting was a YES/NO but I had left them with a maybe instead. Had no clue how things were on other side and I am sure NO would have made my life simpler. Later did I realize that it was first time for Miss X as well and there are lot of things on a girl's mind and I guess rejection being one of the major ones.Well frankly I do not know how things would turn out but if we stay as friends that's gonna be enough (easier said than done especially when you know purpose wasn't making a new friend). Probably if we would have just met as friends I feel there were higher chances of things working out.