Experience or mistake ?

Well I really do not know how to describe the state of my mind right now. So whatever is going to follow would be rambling at its best. Let me go in the reverse order of how things have been happening. Just got a call from my home and got a news that one of my distant cousins is getting hitched in coming months. Thought it did make me really happy for her but (though nothing directly or indirectly was exchanged between me and my parents) every time I get a call it somehow sounds like a warning bell. There was time(not very long ago) when I considered my parents as my best buddies and they were the first people with whom I would share anything and everything happening in my life. But it seems I lost the balance somewhere without even realizing. It's not that I do not share with them anymore but I guess my life is not that happening now. I can feel they aren't that comfortable in sharing and talking with me they way it used to be and am equally responsible for it if not more or less. Bringing up the topic of marriage is difficult task for them and probably they know that I am not ready for it since I have voiced up my reservation boldly quiet a few times. Its not that I have something against the system but it doesn't make sense getting in a relationship when you aren't 100% ready just because you want them(people you love) to be happy.

BTW my sister returned back to India after more than 6+ years last week and I went home and we got to spend a weekend together (its always great to have your siblings around ). One of the prime reasons I offered for not taking long term abroad assignments but now I do not need them anymore since she is back and I am out of the corporate world. While I was home for the weekend, experienced a learning though it was costly (50k) but isn't that what you call a mistake :-P. My truck(Safari) was hit by a full grown up truck(sand lorry) while we were waiting a traffic signal to turn green. To cut a long story short we made a deal with the truck owner over phone that he covers my damage and I let his truck go. So the learning was

1. Never trust someone even though he may sound really genuine (since the guy turned turtle once my car was given for repair). 
2. Never under-estimate the Indian judicial system for it would always leave you disappointed.
3. Never speak of things which you cant accomplish yourself.

Life at the B-school is chilled out though there are always quizzes, assignments, projects to keep you busy. And of-course the scores which I manage here (apart from couple of exceptions) would make people who know my academic background wonder if getting MBA is so difficult. Since its the last day of year the customary thoughts of what I did and didn't are back on my mind but let me keep that up for a separate post.

Behavior Gyaan

Well I have a subject called the Organisational Behavior(OB) in my current Term at the University which made me go through some self evaluation tests. The purpose of the Professor was solved to some extent for sure since it made me introspect(not sure about others in class) and help me in observing some of everyday behavior in details. So get ready for philosophy and psychology gyaan.

Now the first part of the exercise is done of finding own mistake and second which is correcting the behavior should be starting sometime soon hopefully.

1. Its fairly easy to pick up others fault and criticize without even thinking.
2. During a lecture if you are discussing something with your neighbor you are either resolving your own query or solving his doubts.
3. While if someone else does the same thing, you feel they are morons :-) (cant they do it later) since the murmur created is disturbing the class/session especially when batch strength is closer to 80s.
4. Its difficult to admit own mistakes especially when someone else had pointed it out, it would be easy when you have realized it yourself.
5. You always have an idea or solution to a problem/issue and you feel that's the best way to handle it.

The list can be pretty long but I better wind it up. The post was started few days back but couldn't find time to complete it and what better time to complete it when you are supposed to attempt 2 mid term papers in the morning and you stay awake late to study and then you realize you can study a subject to understand and apply it but its impossible to complete it when you know you would be evaluated on how much have you retained. BTW one of 2 the papers is OB and that's how I came back to the blog. Keeping fingers crossed as they say I am sure I would manage the grades though I haven't prepared for it just like the good old engineering days :-).

Oh I forgot to add the funny part one of the tests described me as "The Doer" kind of guy who wants to get the hands dirty and make things work (to which I agree largely). While I was going through the description it also stated that these kind of people are not good at theory and give little or no importance hence they not good at higher education since it deals mostly with theories. Now it makes me wonder if I did a right thing to opt for studies again :-P.

The Change

Its been long since I have put up something here and life has been on a fast track. The previous post had been in draft for months now so first thing I did was publish it as it was. To cut a long story short "the crossroad" was continuing the professional career or taking a break as mentioned in lot of my previous posts as well.So finally I took the plunge to end the Bachelors tag and get a Masters by landing up at B school instead of my personal life :-P.

Frankly the time flew so fast that I don't even remember putting down my paper and serving the full notice period though having the option to move out early. I did regret the decision of not having a break between the office and college only in the last week as 2 days I had went of in winding up the formalities. Before the feeling sank in that am out of job I was loading my stuff in the car to drive down to college.

Going back to studies is no big deal and I personally know loads of people who have done it lot later than me and that too after having loads of personal and family commitments. But going back to studies leaving laptops and using pen, notebooks after close to 7 years is totally different story.Night-outs which were frequent during engineering days now look like a big effort. You are handed assignments which you have no clue about and it needs to be submitted the next morning and that too right in the second week so you end up slogging the entire night.

The best part of the entire change is that I got to make a whole bunch of new friends and ultra cool ones. Everyone who comes here has a good amount of professional work exp (avg 4+ yrs) but all of them super young at heart and behave just like school kids and its fun to be in the group and act like one yourself. I never had any constraints of sticking with a particular industry but after all the previous years being in IT sector and sudden shift to Banking ticks the rational part of the brain sometimes. That's all for now and hopefully I would keep the blog updated lot more often since the grey matter is subjected to 6 different courses every week now :-).

Crossroads

Well the title aptly describes my state of mind. I am not a literature guy but I do remember a poem and I guess lot of people from my age group with my kind of schooling would be able to recall it "The Road Not Taken(less traveled)" by Robert Frost. The reason am so philosophical today as I had 2 options in life today one which I have been walking/trudging and I know where I would be if I continue and the other one being the less traveled one and I really do not have a clarity as to where it would lead me. 

Power of Failure

Working in a firm like mine has quiet a few fringe benefits. One of the initiatives called Leadership Talk Series (LTS) is where successful people from different walks of life are invited to share their experience and help the employees get inspired. Today as a part of the series we had Anupam Kher (who needs no introduction) visiting our campus.

The moment I reached the venue of the talk I could see the enthusiasm of the colleagues as the hall was jam packed with hardly a place to stand. Apart from the awe of superstar/celebrity what surprised me was the humility which was evident as soon as Mr Kher started to interact. I had my doubts if would be able to stick with the agenda behind this series when the interaction began. But within moments all my skepticism disappeared in thin air and I regretted not having a pen and paper to scribble the wonderful lessons he shared from his personal experience.

There were numerous takeaways from the session and I would jot down the ones which I can recall. The human memory has a short attention span & we need to be reminded and that is what this session helped me. I am sure we would have had come across these learning at some point of time or other. But when you hear it along with an incident and that to from a person who has done it himself its much more impactful.

• Dreamer are achievers and things do not happen automatically, you need to work to achieve them.
• Happiness is state of mind and we decide if we want to be happy.
• Optimism is a trait we need to inculcate.
• You never lose till you stop trying. 
• Power of failure and you need to celebrate failure as well.

Well to say the entire session was laced with humor or rather filled with it would be an understatement. It was laugh riot to be precise and best part was that the essence of LTS was intact. Most of the anecdotes he shared came from staying with his parents/grand-parents. All I can say is Thank you Mr. Kher for sharing your experience and making our lives richer.

Another milestone

Well as I sit on the eve of another milestone of my journey of life I wonder. The questions which haunt me every year are still in front of me and I do not have answers for them. I am nearing the half way mark of the typical human life and am still looking for a purpose. Which makes me wonder if I haven't found a purpose till date when do I get time to start working on it.

There are things which am not happy about, but I guess it just like you do not want to fix things unless they are broken. Probably for the same reason I am not making enough efforts to mend/fix it up as well. One of my best pals yesterday made me realize the importance of dialogue. There are things which one can ponder over without reaching to any conclusions but if you open up you might get a perspective which you were totally missing.

Another interesting fact which I realized was things which are new to us make us feel uncomfortable. And even before any attempt to change or try out we have already developed a resistance against it. Unless we take the first step we will never be able evaluate whether it was good/bad for us. As I continue to march towards another year I look forward to new set of events, learning and hope that I might stumble across the answers which I have been looking for. Now as I look back I see that I haven't been exploring places which I consider essential element in learning. With a wish that I get to explore the world before the free spirit in me gets tied down with the usual responsibilities.

Customer Delight

Well the firm I work for constantly keeps on talking about customer satisfaction and since that's where the money comes from (to put it bluntly that how we are paid our salaries). I cannot authenticate the claim which the ads make like 60% of world business transactions run through our system, but I do tend to believe since we make a fairly large revenue and it wouldn't be possible if that was not the case.

BTW every B-school student goes through some course of other which talk about how important our customers are and what all should be done to retain them. Now Customer Satisfaction and Delight are 2 completely different topics. How many times we would have picked our phone to log a complain about a particular service not been provided or irregularity some where in the process. Most common examples would be for banking, mobile, electricity billing etc. where we are put through a mundane IVRS which asks us to punch all useless numbers to identify us and then proceed and finally to be directed to some customer care executive in some corner of the world who would again make us go through the same process again.

This post started because I underwent a paradigm shift during odd 20-30 mins for a service which I used as a part of my job and made me realize how fast can things be turned around. How fickle human emotions are and with just a slight effort it can set to normal. Ok now the real story or the experience. I dialled up international toll-free number to get my issue resolved and I was treated with IVRS system as usual. Had to do the necessary number punching to get myself through and it took ages before I could be transferred. I ended up loosing my cool and dropping off the call. Better sense prevailed and I retried and damn the phone networks I couldn't even get through for next 5-6 times. Now you can understand with no fault of the service provider I was cursing them though the issue was with telephone networks instead.

After repeated attempts I was able to make it through and had to go through the routine process. Finally I get to interact with customer care guy who had a strong British accent and listens to all my complain patiently and after the usual verification. He tells me that he isn't the right guy and would transfer me to the right department and I thought oh so here it goes again. Sounds just the regular stuff isn't it ? But I was in for a surprise. Less than 30 seconds I got transferred to right department and before I could reply to the hello from the lady(had Irish tone later confirmed from the ISD code of the call) the call got dropped off. I made last valiant effort but phone network gods were not on my side.

So obviously I was not in the best possible spirit and thought lets handle it later. Now these guys did have all the info including the firm I work and probably access to corporate address book as well since they provide services to us. Another 10 mins I got a call from the same lady on my desk number(from Irish number) stating that she is looking into the issue and I need to be on hold. After some clarifications she told me they are working on the complaint and would get back to me by sending me necessary info through mails without being asked for.

Did I have a grouse against them ? Oh YAH :-) but after the effort(I don't know how little or extra) they made in less than 30 mins I was more than happy or have moved from one end of the spectrum to another. (the complaint is still not resolved).

Ubislate

Day couldn't have been better, got a chance to interact with Suneet Singh Tuli (Aakash Tablet fame) courtesy Tech Talk series which was started at SAP Labs Gurgaon. The best part of frank and affable personality of the CEO Datawind was to put things simply. Suneet had a flair for story telling and it was evident when he started the talk about his entrepreneurship attempts and leading upto to Aakash tablet.

If you guys really wish to know more about the tablet I guess wiki as usual has done a great job on the link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aakash_(tablet).

Well with regards to personal takeaways from the session I could say that business needs to be done from heart along with mind. In others words passion would be as important as intelligence in running a business since there would be times when things wouldn't go the way you want. Another important learning was the product or service you design for any particular customer might not always bring you revenues from the same sector/segment/people whom you had intended it for. Overall again experience of its kind.

Normalcy I Guess...

Life seems to be moving back on track. The empty brain has been put to work(office) and am struggling to find foothold. Life is suddenly back on usual track where you slog/work in office, come back and you hardly have time for brain cells to think over anything. 

Moreover rather next couple of months just look tied up on the calendar now courtesy ADHM (Airtel Delhi Half Marathon). I started running around 2 years back and Nov 2010 I ran first ever half marathon and pledged as long as I stay in Delhi I would run every year. Now in its 8th year ADHM has decided to move the race from the wonderful season of November (which happens to be just the right time to run) to a scorching and sultry September.

I know irrespective of how much I crib the sponsors aren't going to change the schedule. They wouldn't have even if I was their star runner which am not(barely manged to complete it in quarter past 2 hours last yr). The schedule is for 30th Sept which leaves me with approx 90 days of training. The worst part the training has to be in the current climatic conditions :-( . All I can pray for to Delhi Weather Gods is to have mercy on our poor souls both for the training as well as D day. Since I have completed half marathons last 2 yrs the incremental goal is to complete it under TWO hours {shouldn't personal goals be set higher every yr when professional goals bench marking is improved every yr ;-P }.

The registration starts from 5th of July and here the link to my buddies who intend to participate this year  Airtel Delhi Half Marathon

Hit - is this the Mid-life crisis ?

Well it is obvious that there is uneasy feeling which has been growing over last couple of months. What I am not sure is if this is what is referred as the so called Mid-life crisis or its just that I am too eager to conclude that. Life is not meant to be predictable and it never is, hence everyone is bound to go through feeling of uncertainty at times.

Professionally my life has been great so far, if not outstanding but I guess the period closed a month before the last financial year ended. There was a career path which I had in mind and things were going just as I wanted it. Then this uncertainty showed its early signs which I failed to read, wish I was the oracle who knew things before they could happen. Due to re-organisation in my firm I had to take up a role which was an offset rather more like U turn. The only way I can see forward now is by taking break and jumping on the B-school bandwagon to get things back on track or start on the new path which I had never planned. Though I know this is more tried and tested path and there are enough examples in my own circle. But probably the non-conformist in me averse to this tried and tested route. 

Now to add to all the anxiety I have been putting myself through everyday my parents unknowingly have started forcing me in the uncomfortable zone on the personal front. While I am struggling on whether to continue in the same job, jump to another firm or take a break and explore what could/should I be doing. They want me to get hitched, well when I am not sure about my own future how can I even think of taking additional responsibilities. Arranged marriage is certainly pushing me in the uncomfortable zone and I guess have written enough in the last post. There are times when I feel that there are lot of wonderful people whom I know and it is not that difficult to ask them out and you never know thing might just click/work out. BTW I did crazy enough things like asking random people out and no surprises their response was shock followed by subtle no because they weren't hit by the crazy mood/impulse like me and am sure I would have done the same had I been in their place.

There are times when I convince myself that whatever is happening is just the right thing, but the comfort just doesn't stay long enough and am back to the dilemma, if I doing the correct thing by letting events unfold instead of taking a stance and making things happen. When I am so obscure about things on my professional front how could I consider things on personal side whether arranged marriage or my effort it doesn't make a difference.

Arranged Marriages

Well let me start the post by a disclaimer since it’s a sensitive topic and I don’t not want to hurt anyone’s sentiments. The observations/comments/feelings are my purely from my personal view which could be skewed  :-) . Love marriages can’t be left out of the discussion since it’s more like other side of coin. And both sides have enough of pros and cons associated with to have an endless debate which is better. Let me put it straight I am definitely not against the whole system of matrimony, rather I have a great respect for it.
Let’s start with a brief background, I just returned back from a road trip across the entire U.P. on way to my native place. The trip is more of annual event now (last3 yrs) where we would stop over and visit all are relatives (huge in number) irrespective of where they stay. Back to the topic so everywhere I went this time the first question was when am I getting married. Btw towards the end of the trip if this question did not come as first question at the place I visited, it made me wonder if everything was fine and normal there :-). But things were just like normal, I don’t remember even single exception in the entire trip. If not the first question maybe it came a little later (just like how you doing or how are things on your side and then...).

Just like the TV serials of childhood where there used to be story of some kings who would send folks to make announcements with drums and whistles, my mom announced that she is looking for a bride with all her criterion at every place we went and she won’t be listening to my excuses of not getting married anymore. The way things have now started turning around is like everyone is making efforts to get me hitched as if it doesn’t happen now, it won’t happen ever or more like am about to miss a flight or train. I understand am nearing the thirties now but is there such an emergency :-) , god knows.

And no brownies for guessing everyone knows someone who is looking for out grooms as well. Well I am pretty naïve to entire process and there is always a first of time. What is the oddest part or the process which leaves me flummoxed is how could you meet/see someone and reject him/her. Is it like going to shopping store for picking up clothes? More over when I am not perfect myself how/why should I be looking for a person who is perfect. What scares me the most is how could someone say “No”  and the amount of damage that does to the ego of receiving person. Maybe I will become a pro after recieving couple of blows :-) but I sincerely pray that I dont get a chance to be at the giving end. Well since the process is about to start in my life as well, am thinking hard to devise a strategy to handle the scenario. But the entire blame comes back to me for being in such a situation, if I would have found the so called Miss right for me by now this would have never happened since I had all the liberty in doing so till date. A relationship is about compromises but meeting someone knowing the purpose of meeting is awkward. It just makes more sense to me -if you stumble across someone, strike the right chord of friendship and then you realise that you can get hitched (typical love marriage scenario).

I do understand and know there are disadvantages as well in that process but there is the old saying known Devil better than unknown Angel. I guess I would leave things for my parents to sort out since I do not have any other options. Referring to one or my previous post I guess I am letting off control and that too deliberately but it’s just that I don’t see a better way out. Sigh…

A Different Take

Well I expect most of the people around me to be of a similar general knowledge/awareness level. Aamir Khan Productions started a new show called "Satyamev Jayate" which was aired yesterday. It is but obvious that I enjoyed the show and somehow felt connected. But I am not here to defend what others are doing or what's their motive.

Since I really liked the theme and powerful first episode I ended up reading blogs/post/articles as well about it. I stumbled across an observation which many people won’t agree, they can be classified as

1.      Most of them have positive opinions about the show but are skeptical (probably I fall in this category as well).

2.      Couple of them really neutral (just like the show) stating the facts.

3.  Then this category who are just too pessimist/negative.

Interestingly the last category (3) has a fair share in the number game as well. What brought me to the blog today was the third category of people/individuals. I started analyzing the reason for such a reaction and figured out there are many categories of people.

A.    People who are in the media industry and it’s their job (get paid for) to write about things.

B.     Then there are random individual like me who blog at their own will.

C.      And there is this special category/breed which wants to prove they are different in everything they do.

Well, all I can say is sorry for the people in C group, maybe I am overtly critical but I couldn’t come up with a better way of classifying them. And if you dig more info about the authors of the posts/articles (negative reviews) you will get to know they are a combo of category A and C. In other words they are people who get paid to write stuff which is not conventional. I do not mind such stuff as long as it’s not on a personal level, my ire here is against the people who have gone at length to portray the entire initiative just for making money.  

There is another old cliché which says “Every small step counts”. I know it’s too early to pass a judgment (just like victory of Jan-Lokpal bill right after the Anna’s fast got over) but I am highly optimist and expect things to turn better.

I would end the post with a quote from Aamir’s movies where the character he portrayed said - "There are 3 types of people in this world: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen and those who wonder what happened.”

Books

The reason for back to back posts is - I had train of thoughts which made me visit the blogger and when I published my last post I figured out that I forgot to include it. Then I went to edit mode but just couldn't fit the stuff there so I thought I would start a new post. What better way to improve on the number count as well :-).

There are instances in life when one is not in the right spirits(bored/lacking purpose/disappointed etc.) And what has worked for me is Books. Though I picked up the habit pretty late (College first yr)I have been avid reader and read any/everything (except the course books :-P). As I said most times in my life so far, whenever I have come across a situation as such, the prime reason has been me being away from books. The moment I get back to my habit things start turning around and the problems start disappearing too. I have a small collections of books some of them personally signed by their respective Authors. Others mostly bought from LandMark store or others.

I would end the post with a number one(1999-UK) single from the album "Something for Everybody" which I heard for the first time last year, through a very good friend/office colleague of mine whom I don't see often since both of us work with different teams now. It sure lifts your mood

Reflections

This is what happens to a post in draft if not published on time. What I meant was the contents has to be modified and as they loose their relevance.As the title of post suggests it was drafted around the new year with just a couple of paragraphs. Well at the start of a New Year one generally tends to make resolutions. I am no different and hence I sat down to figure out what do I need to achieve/do. When I started the exercise little did I realize that it would start from looking back at the years gone by.

Let me be frank, its a difficult exercise unless you have a diary/notebook where you keep a note of events. You always tend to remember the big decisions which you made or major events which happened across the year. The smaller and yet significant events just get lost and its really difficult to trace. When there is train of thoughts running backward that when I connect the dot and see how things shaped up the way they are today.

Life always has plans and as they say it -The only constant is CHANGE. At the start of year I had plans both on the professional front as well the the personal side. Things on the professional side had been really topsy-turvy ride so far. The team I worked in my firm went lean, closed it operations from Gurgaon location and shifted to Bangalore and hence had to make unplanned changes (move in to a completely new team and shift technology back to where I had started 5 yrs back). There are pros and cons of every thing, if I would have been with a smaller firm I might have been thanked for my services or forced to move to new location. But since it a large firm I had option to shift to other team. Its not that I am techno-geek who loves a particular technology but I am still re-working on mid/long term plans based on the current scenario. I have been with the same firm more than 5 yrs now and since I shifted to new technology, I have been put in a month long training. Now to add to all this I met a cousin of mine and we are of the same age-group and by most of the standards she has an illustrious background so far (IIT->ISB). Which forces me to rethink the strategy I have been working on for a while and take the break move to B-school and try to run faster in the rat-race which seems to be trapping me :-).

Though I took time to realize that either I can plan for life, work on it and handle the challenges it throws at me or either sit back give the control to life and see whatever happens. No doubt everyone (including me) wants to take charge and lead it but there are times when you realize that you let off that reins at some instance and hence the things shaped up this way. Enough ramblings for the day :-).

Blackmail

Well I can see a pattern now, I come back to post something only when I am happy or disappointed by events going in my life. No brownies for guessing that today it’s the second part which brings me here.
To cut a long story short, there is sect famous as Nadi Astrologers which some members of my family(sister and brother-in-law) have faith in, since they have already used their services. The method they employ is pretty unconventional as well. All they take is your thumb print and they don’t charge you, now they match the thumbprint in their physical database(set of leaves/papers written thousands of yrs ago by a saint). Once they have found a match they call you back for reading your past/present/future with usual fees. There is no guarantee that they would have a match but if they have they get in touch with you.

I have been a science student and belong to the so called gen-X and hence rational as well and I do not approve of astrology. It’s not that I am expert or something neither does my approval has to do anything with what the world/my family feels on this topic J. Obliviously my Jiju(bro-in-law who is more of a friend) had used the Nadi Centre  some 8-10 years and his life pattern has followed the predicted trajectory. Now my mom and dad want me to visit the center and they want to know how my future looks like. Obliviously they feel that I am good for nothing as I haven’t found a girl to marry yet and am already in late twenties and would tip over the scale and won’t find a good girl once I step in 30’s in another yr or so J.

It’s not that I am against the system(matrimony) or am a rebel/maverick but it’s just that I don’t feel it’s the right time for me as I need to do lot more things before I can start a family. Maybe there is another reason I am still looking for the miss right who will automatically appear out of blue moon :-P. Since I wasn’t ready to visit the center my sis jumps into the picture and starts convincing me that why I should visit this place. This entire conversation is over gtalk since they stay in Fiji. For every logic/argument which I had in mind for not going was silenced by one statement “what do you lose out of this, if it makes mom and dad happy?” Now how can anyone defend something like this? And I guess this is just the start of things to come in future where these arguments would be repeated over again. Hence the title of the post.  I know am a strong headed individual (my family calls me stubborn) who has strong opinions for and against issues and generally prefer doing things my way.

Now let’s get back to the point, why I don’t want to visit this Nadi center. I guess it takes courage to admit that I am hypocrite but maybe I am (at-least on this topic). The entire incident made me re-evaluate self and I figured out that though I do not believe in astrology (horoscopes/numerology/Nadi etc.) I do not mind reading weekly horoscopes which the newspaper print in the Sunday edition and laugh about it. When they print something nice be happy if it’s not nice just forget about it. Being the rational self I am, I can endlessly argue as how could the entire world (8 billion) be divided in 12 zodiac signs and something for them can be predicted for all of them together. If something fits one person it’s a probability and if it doesn’t I come back to where I stated “I told you so”.

Now let me defend myself J irrespective of how logical/rational one can be, if your life starts following the patterns predicted by someone you might end up believing him, even though there is no proof of such scientific system in these studies. I guess this would be right reason why am averse to visiting such a place. And probably I am person who puts in effort because I don’t know the end result, so if you tell me how things are going to be maybe the effort would go for toss. I prefer taking life as it comes and dreaming on how I would want it to be rather than getting just the perfect excuse someone on the earth could ever invent(why put an effort when I know things are not going to change since someone had written it that way for me).

Though I did enough research on Nadi now I can definitely write couple of pages only on them but let it be for some other day. Enough for today I guess I do need time for myself more frequently (“Main aur Meri Tanhayee”) types which make me feel calmer and penning my rants sounds like a good idea J.