Saturday, June 02, 2012

Arranged Marriages

Well let me start the post by a disclaimer since it’s a sensitive topic and I don’t not want to hurt anyone’s sentiments. The observations/comments/feelings are my purely from my personal view which could be skewed  :-) . Love marriages can’t be left out of the discussion since it’s more like other side of coin. And both sides have enough of pros and cons associated with to have an endless debate which is better. Let me put it straight I am definitely not against the whole system of matrimony, rather I have a great respect for it.
Let’s start with a brief background, I just returned back from a road trip across the entire U.P. on way to my native place. The trip is more of annual event now (last3 yrs) where we would stop over and visit all are relatives (huge in number) irrespective of where they stay. Back to the topic so everywhere I went this time the first question was when am I getting married. Btw towards the end of the trip if this question did not come as first question at the place I visited, it made me wonder if everything was fine and normal there :-). But things were just like normal, I don’t remember even single exception in the entire trip. If not the first question maybe it came a little later (just like how you doing or how are things on your side and then...).

Just like the TV serials of childhood where there used to be story of some kings who would send folks to make announcements with drums and whistles, my mom announced that she is looking for a bride with all her criterion at every place we went and she won’t be listening to my excuses of not getting married anymore. The way things have now started turning around is like everyone is making efforts to get me hitched as if it doesn’t happen now, it won’t happen ever or more like am about to miss a flight or train. I understand am nearing the thirties now but is there such an emergency :-) , god knows.

And no brownies for guessing everyone knows someone who is looking for out grooms as well. Well I am pretty naïve to entire process and there is always a first of time. What is the oddest part or the process which leaves me flummoxed is how could you meet/see someone and reject him/her. Is it like going to shopping store for picking up clothes? More over when I am not perfect myself how/why should I be looking for a person who is perfect. What scares me the most is how could someone say “No”  and the amount of damage that does to the ego of receiving person. Maybe I will become a pro after recieving couple of blows :-) but I sincerely pray that I dont get a chance to be at the giving end. Well since the process is about to start in my life as well, am thinking hard to devise a strategy to handle the scenario. But the entire blame comes back to me for being in such a situation, if I would have found the so called Miss right for me by now this would have never happened since I had all the liberty in doing so till date. A relationship is about compromises but meeting someone knowing the purpose of meeting is awkward. It just makes more sense to me -if you stumble across someone, strike the right chord of friendship and then you realise that you can get hitched (typical love marriage scenario).

I do understand and know there are disadvantages as well in that process but there is the old saying known Devil better than unknown Angel. I guess I would leave things for my parents to sort out since I do not have any other options. Referring to one or my previous post I guess I am letting off control and that too deliberately but it’s just that I don’t see a better way out. Sigh…


Vikram said...

Its awkward when we think that the person with whom you(well not you but everybody in a similar situation) has to spend his/her whole life, is being selected the same way we do shopping. I just wish you have your say when it comes to the final nod.

Siddhartha Kalhansa said...

Thanks for your wish. And yes I would definitely have a say in the final nod. BTW your blogs are visible only by invitation.