Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Hit - is this the Mid-life crisis ?

Well it is obvious that there is uneasy feeling which has been growing over last couple of months. What I am not sure is if this is what is referred as the so called Mid-life crisis or its just that I am too eager to conclude that. Life is not meant to be predictable and it never is, hence everyone is bound to go through feeling of uncertainty at times.
Professionally my life has been great so far, if not outstanding but I guess the period closed a month before the last financial year ended. There was a career path which I had in mind and things were going just as I wanted it. Then this uncertainty showed its early signs which I failed to read, wish I was the oracle who knew things before they could happen. Due to re-organisation in my firm I had to take up a role which was an offset rather more like U turn. The only way I can see forward now is by taking break and jumping on the B-school bandwagon to get things back on track or start on the new path which I had never planned. Though I know this is more tried and tested path and there are enough examples in my own circle. But probably the non-conformist in me averse to this tried and tested route. 
Now to add to all the anxiety I have been putting myself through everyday my parents unknowingly have started forcing me in the uncomfortable zone on the personal front. While I am struggling on whether to continue in the same job, jump to another firm or take a break and explore what could/should I be doing. They want me to get hitched, well when I am not sure about my own future how can I even think of taking additional responsibilities. Arranged marriage is certainly pushing me in the uncomfortable zone and I guess have written enough in the last post. There are times when I feel that there are lot of wonderful people whom I know and it is not that difficult to ask them out and you never know thing might just click/work out. BTW I did crazy enough things like asking random people out and no surprises their response was shock followed by subtle no because they weren't hit by the crazy mood/impulse like me and am sure I would have done the same had I been in their place.

There are times when I convince myself that whatever is happening is just the right thing, but the comfort just doesn't stay long enough and am back to the dilemma, if I doing the correct thing by letting events unfold instead of taking a stance and making things happen. When I am so obscure about things on my professional front how could I consider things on personal side whether arranged marriage or my effort it doesn't make a difference.

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