Monday, January 14, 2013

The First

Well there is always a first time for everything in life. This post has been due for a long time now. Since there have been quiet a few posts on arranged marriages and one of the essential steps is to meet the person. Best part about life is that the learning never stops, though it's a different topic whether we take back anything from any experience or not. Well let me name the lady as Miss X just like the mathematics classes where the unknown variable always gets this name. I need to politically correct as well since I know the blog is followed by lot of people and Miss X knows about it too :-P.

Well I would consider myself completely naive and there were hundred other things on my mind which were on extremely high priority (that's the best excuse I can come up for being such a moron). Probably being a guy I did not think much as well and just landed up in a place close to Miss X so that we can meet up. A bit of background before I move ahead. We had talked exactly once over phone and had exchanged a few gmail chats before that day and we were being hooked up because of common relatives (typical arranged marriages). No points of guessing it was me who initiated as I was on fix it up mission. Was out of job...going back to school, hunting rented accommodation for my parents. Let me try not to justify but the truth is I almost landed up blank with absolute no clue how to take things forward. I feel I make friends really fast and meeting new people is just like another activity which doesn't get me thinking but I guess its not the same with everyone. So I landed up being shabbily dressed for the meeting and we had planned to meet at a coffee shop.

As soon I stepped inside the coffee shop I got to meet an office colleague of mine and I came up with an excuse/lie (since you do not go about telling everyone that you are out to see someone) that I was there to met a old buddy of mine. Since I wasn't probed much I found a table and started wondering if Miss X walks in how do I  introduce her to my colleague, but seems the ubiquitous force did not want me to lie anymore and hence the office guys were done and they started to leave and Miss X was running late as well. Well I gave the compliment to Miss X when we met as well so nothing wrong being truthful, Miss X walks inside the cafe and I gotup to greet her and frankly was stunned as she was pretty and was aptly decked up as well unlike me.

Now the funny part of the episode, how can things go wrong and learnings part. Miss X broke her heels while entering the coffee shop and had to go back n look for cobblers but since it was late evening she trudged back and had to manage with broken heels of the footwear (reason for her running late). If you haven't thought about how to make the conversation there would be uncomfortable silences. Making conversation is really easy when you do not have an agenda but when there is a thought at the back of you mind on the purpose of meet you wont be comfortable at all. Well being a weekend and the place being the hustle bustle center of city there was lot of crowd and I was wondering if we would run into familiar faces and Voila..... Miss X younger brother's ex girlfriend was in the coffee shop as well and she called up her elder sister who was classmate of Miss X to tell her bout gossip that Miss X is seeing someone. Where she had to clarify that it was date setup by parents and she wasn't seeing someone, later when she was called.........indeed its a small world :-).

Miss X was uncomfortable/nervous/.... which was evident right throughout and which made me wonder If I should keep it running or just exchange goodbye and move ahead. We did get to spend sometime together and obviously it was me who was trying to keep the conversation running but the question stayed how can you meet someone for an hour and so and decide if things gonna work out between you or not.  Now the most interesting part which I guess everyone (my parents, her parents and anyone else who knew that we have met) wanted to hear. The moment I reached home I was probed but I made the answer complex by telling the truth that it was nice meeting her but there were lot of uncomfortable silences to make a sense out of it. What I guess they were expecting was a YES/NO but I had left them with a maybe instead. Had no clue how things were on other side and I am sure NO would have made my life simpler. Later did I realize that it was first time for Miss X as well and there are lot of things on a girl's mind and I guess rejection being one of the major ones.Well frankly I do not know how things would turn out but if we stay as friends that's gonna be enough (easier said than done especially when you know purpose wasn't making a new friend). Probably if we would have just met as friends I feel there were higher chances of things working out.

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